On my desk at work, I have 2 action figures, Wolverine and Batman which I got as a gift from some friends awhile back. I was terrorising the Wolverine with Batman yesterday, killing time till they open the cages, when there was a knock on the door.
My “Come in” sounded a little guilty and the Secretary looked a little suspiciously at me as she placed files on my desk and a tall glass of coke.
“I don’t really like soda. But thanks for the thought.”
“It’s for me. When did you last go out Rese?”
“Er..last weekend”
“Really? What did you do?”
“You know. Stuff.” (Liar. I stayed home and watched DVDs back to back)
“A bunch of us are going out tonight for drinks and a movie. You’re coming”
“Er…Okay. You’re going to be all bully-ing and make me shit coffee if I don’t aren’t you?”
“I would never do that” she said sweetly.
“Then I’d love to”
………
I hated it.
I have friends. I know people, people know me.
But it seems that I just keep pushing them all away. I just don’t like socialising with people at times. Despite all the loneliness and the being alone bit I’ve been going through, I still do this. I push them all away and just stay home.
I’ve been going through some drastic changes lately. My whole perception has changed. It’s hard to let go of certain things but at least I don’t have that tight a grip on it anymore. I’m managing. I’m breaking out of my tempurung.
I don’t think people are meant to be by themselves. Thats why if you actually find someone you care about, it’s important to let go of the little things. Even if you can’t go all the way.
Because nothing sucks more than being all alone, no matter how many people are around.
