On advertising II

In no particular order, a continuation of On advertising.

1. Be fully committed. Don’t be a fence sitter or a waffler. If you’re going to be Worldwide Executive Creative Director someday, be sure about it, single-minded in your determination to achieve victory at all costs.
2. Be Nice (but don’t get walked-over.) Even if people around you are wankers. It’s a small industry. Word gets around.
3. Never assume (that if you’re) Creative you’re far superior. Or just because you’re in Servicing, you be da playa . We’re all stuck up the same shit creek. Without a paddle most of the time too. (having said that; Zenith, OMD & Group M make my teeth grate. So what if I have prejudices.)
4. Don’t steal. Or be on the take.
5. Always be on time.
6. Never make excuses or blame others.
7. Never call in sick. Except in cases of dismemberment, arterial bleeding, sucking chest wounds or the death of an immediate family member. Granny died? Bury her on your day off.
8. Lazy, sloppy and slow are bad. Enterprising, crafty and hyperactive are good.
9. Be prepared to witness every variety of human folly and injustice. Without it screwing up your head or poisoning your attitude. You will simply have to endure the contradictions and inequities of this life.
10. Assume the worst. quotes not signed, director is missing, clients wants to increase their logo by 60%, two minutes after the film has gone out etc. Assume the worst and you won’t be suprised.
11. Try not to lie. Tell the truth really well but do not lie.
12. Pick up smoking and drinking. It helps. Seriously. Alternatively, just pick one out of the two. (you know, if cancer or religion gets in the way or something.)
13. Read. Stay abreast of things in the industry and new up coming trends. You’re in the business to stay ahead.
14. As the Draft FCB guys say it – Die die, deliver.
15. Have a sense of humour about things. You’ll need it.

Absolut Turn-ons

1. Women bassists.   D’arcy comes to mind. So does Paz Lenchantin (seen her tying her hair in the Judith video?)
2. Women playing pool (well).
3. Women driving stick.  
4. Big brown eyes.

Daymn.

On advertising

For mass comm/advertising students, looking for to move into the vicious jungle that is advertising, newcomers to the business – and the otherwise unemployables who make up so much of our workforce – I have a few nuggets of advice to dispense.

So you really want to be in advertising? You really really really want to be the next David Ogilvy or the next Neil French or the next Yasmin? If you’re expecting to have eight-to-nine hours a day, weekends and evenings off, holiday with your family, regular sex with your significant other; if you are used to being treated with some modicum of dignity, spoken to and interacted with as a human being, seen as an equal – a sensitive, multidimensional entitty with hopes, dreams, aspirations and opinions, the sort of qualities you’d expect of most working professionals and still want to have the glory and fun and power that the advertising industry promises - then maybe you should reconsider what you’ll be facing, and burn whatever books/persons who put this nonsense of the industry to start with. (I suggest working in the Foreign Office)

I am not kidding when I say, at least in the beginning, you have no rights, are not entitled to an opinion or a personality, and can fully expect to be treated like cattle – only less useful.

To those serious ones who know what it is they are entering, who are fully prepared, ready, willing and able, and committed to a career path like, say, Ogilvy’s – who want to be an advertising god, whatever the personal costs and personal demands – then I say this to you:

Welcome to the best damn thing you could ever do.

Do you think?

Have you ever dined out or gone to a bar with someone and come back from the bathroom to see the person you’ve been immersed in conversation with totally zoned on his mobile? Giving the impression that *phew* he got the chance to do something amazingly important on his phone when you were gone!

Late last night, I went for drinks with Rara. As usual, my tilted bladder struck again. I excused myself to head to the gents and when I came back, she was just sitting there, immersed in her own thoughts. When I asked, she remarked; “Time to think is important”

I dropped my spoon.

Rara’s right; time to think is important. People prefer to be automated, better to be busy and on your Crackberry and be constantly on the move than be idle, not knowing what to do. But how bad would it be if we just all left the phone at home, unplug ourselves from the iPod, and said, “Time for a change.”? What would that look like?

Messy, for sure. It might make us more apt to question everything around us. Change is good.

wtf

facebook has advertising now??

 I guess it was only a matter of time but here I was hoping that they’d hold out for a little while longer. Advertising-free space is such a rarity these days.